Another Athlete's Georgetown Experience (#3)

The allegations that have been brought forward are absurd. The Georgetown coaching staff comprises some of the most selfless and caring people I have ever met.  Mike Smith literally got me through my final year at Georgetown, without his support I wouldn’t have made it.

 Over the last year I’ve had a lot of problems.  Last summer I could barely train.  I used to be the girl who woke up every day at 6am to get my run in. Yet coming into my final year at Georgetown I could barely fill out my log.  I would go way too long without touching it and Coach Mike would send me text to see what was up and I would tell him that I was just having a bad week.  It was partly true but I still couldn’t bring myself to tell him that I could barely leave my room let alone train the way I was supposed to. 

 I came back in the fall a few days late because of an internship.  On my drive to DC I remember just balling my eyes out.  I was so terrified to come back to school because I was feeling so alone and no one knew what the summer had been like.  I felt like I was lying to everyone.  The thought of trying to work out with the team scared me to death.  I wanted to want to run but I had fallen into such a deep hole that running was my last concern.  I wanted to smile.  I didn’t know how I would manage my training and everything that comes with it if I didn’t even want to wake up in the morning.

 After being back for a few days I knew I had to talk to Coach Mike.  He told us in our meeting that if we ever had issues that would affect our running that we should feel comfortable talking to him. He was there to help us succeed.  I knew he would be supportive but I was so afraid to be honest because it meant coming to terms with the fact that I had a real problem to deal with.  It was aThursday after practice and I waited around McDonough for Coach Mike to come back from the track and when he walked in I said I needed to talk to him.  Without the slightest hesitation he just said it would all be okay.  Without saying anything, he knew.  He takes so much time to know us and understand us that all he had to do was look at me to know I was struggling. 

 He sat with me in his office while I told him how much I hated being at Georgetown and I didn’t even want to come back and that I wanted to be somewhere else where no one knew who I was.  It was the hardest conversation I ever had because it was the first time I was honest with what I was dealing with.  Mike Smith was the only person I trusted enough to tell.  He gave me exactly what I needed. Unconditional support.  Someone had my back.  I was obviously not going to be contributing much to the team athletically that fall but he made damn sure I knew how important I was to the team and that running was the least important factor right now.  He cared so much more about me as a person than as a runner.  That’s what sets Georgetown apart.  All of our coaches make their athletes happiness a priority.

 A little over a week later (on a Sunday) I texted Mike to see if he could come into the office and meet me.  I went down to McDonough ready to tell him I couldn’t do this anymore and that I had to leave the team.  I was sitting outside on the bench and when he got there I started crying and he brought me upstairs and said he would help me and that it would be okay. I told him I couldn’t handle running on top of everything else because it was too much and I would be doing a disservice to my team, the coaches and the program.  Obviously the last thing I wanted to do was quit.  This team was my family, but I felt so guilty and so overwhelmed that I didn’t know what else to do.  I had (and still have) so much respect for the program and the time our coaches put into it.  I didn’t want to take away the time I felt my teammates deserved more than me.  Coach Mike told me that even if I didn’t run another step he wanted me here.  He told me that he had my back and that my team needed me.  He literally removed all the pressure I felt and we came up with a plan together.  What coach takes this much time and gives this much effort and compassion to an athlete who legitimately had NOTHING to contribute but her presence on the team.  I ran one race that season.

Being a student-athlete at Georgetown is really hard.  The expectations feel unbearable sometimes.  Personally, I felt like a complete failure.  Couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror without being absolutely disgusted with what I saw.  My whole life was affected.  I didn’t want to do anything, I was literally afraid to be seen in public.  That’s how much of a failure I thought I was.  The one person who made it okay and who cared enough to get me through it was Mike Smith.  When you are a part of this team and you’re honest with yourself and your coaches, they will stand by you 100%, no matter what.  They don’t toss anyone aside.  If you do your best to be a great teammate and show respect to the program, then there is nothing these coaches wouldn’t do for you.

Every single day I’m thankful that I went to Georgetown and had the PRIVLEDGE of being apart of the track family.